Alternate Careers Drabble Series
by IrenaAdler
Summary: New team member Colby Granger has some surprises to share. Gen no pairing Drabble series. Eight, Don learns the awful details.
1. A New Lease on Life

**A New Lease on Life –**

When Colby Granger had first come to work in the LA field office, Don had been pretty sure that he wouldn't last long. The FBI, especially Don's team, needed flexible thinkers, not military minds. Also, Colby had been assigned as David's partner and the two of them got along like oil and vinegar, just with more complaining. On top of that, Colby had managed to offend Megan with comments she thought were sexist. Then he'd said some stupid things to Charlie about the value of math. Colby had seemed like nothing more than a meathead ex-jock who was owed favors by somebody important, so he'd gotten dumped on Don.

Now, months later, when Colby was a valued and permanent member of the team, Don was startled to find out that Colby had held a different view of his longevity. It turned out that Colby was already well into a long-term lease on his apartment.

"When did you sign it?"

"The week I got here," Colby admitted.

Don's eyebrows shot up. "You were that sure this job was for you?"

"Well," Colby said with a one-shouldered shrug. "I was pretty determined this was going to work out. There aren't a lot of other jobs for people with my background. Not legal ones, at least."

"True."

"Besides, I'd just come from … well, plenty of boring or ugly places. LA looked like heaven."

"Civilization, sunshine and beaches full of gorgeous women?"

"That and the ocean. If I couldn't make it in the FBI, I could just surf all day."

"I bet I know what it was," Don teased. "You'd already gotten a look at someone in this office that you wanted to ask out." Colby's lack of dates was a common joke around the office.

To Don's astonishment, Colby's cheeks flushed pink.


	2. Maybe A Different Path

**Maybe a Different Path –**

"Wait, you've got your eye on someone?" Don demanded in surprise.

"Not really …"

"That's a lousy poker face, Colby. Who is it? Megan? Liz? Someone from downstairs?" Don was mentally reviewing the possibilities, most of which he'd already asked out himself.

"Hey, hold on," Colby said. "I'm not saying there's anyone."

"Your rosy cheeks say otherwise."

Colby touched his flushed cheeks and grumbled, "It's just an embarrassing question."

"Really? I think—"

"Since I'm already blushing," Colby interrupted. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you."

"More interesting than—"

"I met these two ladies the other day, walking downtown."

Don was diverted. "When you say 'ladies' do you mean …"

"Adult females," Colby said wryly. "Wearing business suits in this case."

"Ah, and?"

"Well … they kinda asked me if I'd ever thought of modeling."

Don stared at him then began to laugh. "That's the oldest line in the book!"

"That's what I thought, too, but they said 'no pressure', gave me their business cards, and walked away."

"You can't seriously think—"

"I did some investigating," Colby said. "They're legit talent scouts."

"C'mon, anyone can make a business card."

"You think I'm that stupid?" Colby said, looking annoyed.

"No, sorry," Don said. He knew Colby was no more a meathead ex-jock than he himself was.

"They're scouts for a well-known New York fashion photographer. I've called him and confirmed."

"Really?" Don was impressed. "You going to do modeling on the weekend or you thinking about a career change?"

"No career change, but some modeling on the side, maybe. It's good money. But that's what I need to talk to you about." Colby cleared his throat and the blush returned to his cheeks. "What would the FBI think about one of their agents appearing in an underwear ad?"


	3. Which Road is Paved with Gold, Again?

**Which Road is Paved with Gold Again?–**

"Underwear?" Don snorted. "_Under_wear?"

Colby's cheeks grew crimson. He held his hands up to quiet Don, though there wasn't anyone else in the FBI break room at the moment. "Yes, they're doing an ad campaign for a new line of men's underwear."

"Let me get this straight," Don said, trying to hold back a laugh that he was sure would come out as a giggle. "Are you going to be posing in _just_ your underwear?"

"Well, um, yeah."

Don giggled, he couldn't help it. "Are you sure this 'ad' isn't soft porn?"

"Not much difference these days," Colby said defensively.

"That's true," Don said and got control of his giggles. "But you wanted to know the FBI's policy."

"Yes. The money's good but I don't want it to mess up what I really want to do."

"How good?"

Colby smiled wryly. "Trust me, you don't want to know. I'm trying to be sensible and not get carried away."

"Well, the FBI policy is something like you can't do anything that would 'reflect poorly on the character and public perception of the agency'. They might have even used the word 'besmirch'."

"What do you think, should I do the modeling?"

Don tried to think past his initial giggling reaction and consider the issue. He could imagine that the money would be great and Colby would do it on his own time. There was nothing specifically in the FBI rulebook forbidding it. But Don's first reaction was really the root of the problem – it would hard for anyone to take Colby seriously after seeing him lounging in his BVDs with the requisite silly pout on his face.

Don slowly shook his head. "Sorry, but I have to think 'no'."

"Well, what if I told you that I maybe, well, already did?"

"_What?_"


	4. Maybe Not a Done Deal

**Maybe Not a Done Deal—**

"You already did?" Don snapped. "You figure it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission?"

"No," Colby said. "I only _sort of_ did it."

Don made a sound that he hoped conveyed his level of annoyance and Colby blanched.

Colby said quickly, "I just wanted to see if I liked it, the modeling, if I was going to be okay with it before even going forward."

Don continued to glare at him.

"See, see," Colby stammered, "I just—They wanted to do a 'test shoot' or something and send it to the photographer in New York, like a try-out, an interview."

Don let his glare soften a little to show he was listening.

"So last night I went down to their studio and they took pictures of me for an hour. In, uh, in underwear."

Don raised his eyebrows.

"It was kind of fun, actually," Colby said with a sheepish smile. "Everyone was very professional and open to any ideas I had. The pictures came out pretty good, even if I do say so myself."

"You've already seen the pictures?"

"Yeah, they gave me copies of them right then, for my 'portfolio'. I brought them for you to see, so you can tell me if this is a bad idea."

"But why ask me now, after the fact? You want to me to tell you it's a mistake when it's already a done deal?"

"Not quite. I snuck out of there last night without signing the release forms so they can't use the pictures. They've been calling me all morning."

Don nodded. "That's why you've been letting your cell go to voice mail all morning."

"Yes, so I'll go get the pictures? They're locked in my desk."

"Okay," Don sighed. It was days like this that being the boss sucked.


	5. Lacking in Subtlety

**Lacking in Subtlety—**

Through the glass walls of the FBI break room, Don watched Colby walk towards his desk. Colby looked around, then unlocked a drawer on his desk and quickly withdrew something and tucked it under his arm. It was almost laughable how obvious it was that Colby was trying to be sneaky.

Don shook his head with a smile. _Good thing he's as honest as dirt because he'd make a lousy spy. Remind me to never send him in undercover._

Colby hurried back across to the break room, looking a little flustered. He checked the area, then handed the envelope to Don.

Don's smile of amusement died as he turned the brown envelope over and over in his hands. It looked the sort of package that would contain national secrets or hard-core porn. Now that Don had learned to respect and trust Colby, now that he'd gotten over the terrible first impression that Colby had made, Don didn't want to ruin things by looking at sexy, embarrassing pictures of him in a G-string.

"Wait," Don said. "You should run these by Megan first. She could say whether the women in the office will be offended by these and she's also got the psychology background to say how management might react."

"Well …"

"Or David," Don said. "He'll give you his opinion as a good friend."

"Um …"

"Or Charlie, yeah, he can run some math—"

"Don," Colby said with a wry smile. "It's your opinion as my boss that I really need."

Don grumbled but nodded. Besides, the pictures had been taken already and Don would rather see them now than on some billboard, or worse, at a FBI conduct review board.

Don squinted, as if he expected an explosion, then, with two fingers, carefully pulled the first photo out.


	6. Less of a Bang Than Expected

**Less of a Bang Than Expected—**

Don kept only one eye open while he pulled the first photo out partially. Then he opened both eyes and quickly pulled it the rest of the way out. He then pulled out the second, third, and fourth photographs.

"These aren't too bad," Don said with relief.

"No," Colby said with hope in his voice. "The ad campaign slogan is going to be something like 'Underwear for Real Men'."

"I could see that," Don nodded.

The pictures were all in monotone – black & white but with a green tint. Colby was wearing a pair of normal, everyday underwear and nothing else. Don had seen as much in the locker room. Colby did have a very nice body, and the shadowing seemed to bring that out, but he wasn't posed provocatively. In the first photo he was standing squarely facing the camera, with feet spread and his hands clasped behind his lower back, like a military 'parade rest' stance. The second photo was the back side of the 'parade rest' stance, third was a side view of Colby standing at attention and saluting, and the fourth was him looking at something in the distance. In fact, all of the photos, though there was no military insignia, uniforms or props, reminded Don strongly of the Army and that Colby was a former soldier. Maybe it was Colby's haircut and the Army Green tint.

Don could tell that Colby was watching him carefully. Colby said, "They'll be doing others of firemen and cops, construction crew, stuff like that."

"Nothing about the Bureau? Just you as a soldier?"

"Right."

Don shuffled the four photos in his hands. "I really want to say, 'Yes' and 'Go make lots of money'."

"But?"

"But I think it would come back to bite us both in the underwear."


	7. One Dream Dashed

**One Dream Dashed –**

Don held up the photos. "Has David seen these?"

"Are you kidding?" Colby said. "I'd never hear the end of the teasing."

"Well, he's going to see them, _everybody_ is going to see them, if they're published. They'll probably even get stuck up on the bulletin board."

"True …" Colby grumbled. "What if I do it under an alias? A 'screen name'?"

"And when we see you on a billboard along the highway? Pretend you have a double?"

"Well, I …"

"Especially when you won't be able to stop blushing about it?"

"Um, well …"

"It'll never hold up, Colby,"

"What if I talk to the modeling agency and it's just a local ad campaign in New York?"

Don shook his head. "You can't count on that."

Colby looked at Don with pleading eyes. "But the money is so good … I could build a nest egg. I've got nothing right now."

But Don had been given puppy eyes by the best and knew how to resist. "Sorry, but I just can't recommend doing it."

Colby's shoulders slumped. "I figured. Even if I tried to do it on the sly, things like that have the tendency to come into the light eventually."

"Yeah," Don agreed.

Colby put the photos back into the envelope and sighed. "I should probably shred these."

"Naw," Don said. "Save them for your future wife. That's dating gold, there."

Colby gave him a small smile and Don felt slightly less like a dasher of dreams.

Colby turned to leave then hesitated. "It's true about things coming to light eventually."

"Hmm?" Don said, taking a sip from his coffee.

"Like, say," Colby continued casually. "A certain minor league baseball team and a long ago trip to a particular Las Vegas Mexican-themed casino?"

Don spat out his coffee.


	8. Caught on Tape

**Caught on Tape—**

Colby watched Don try to mop up his shirt from the spat-out coffee. "I didn't go looking for it, honestly."

"For what?" Don asked, not looking up.

"The video."

Don's head came up. "The v… there's a _video_?"

Colby had to chuckle at the horror on Don's face. "Like I said, I didn't go looking for it. Remember last month, when we were reviewing old money laundering cases that might be connected to that Mexican drug cartel?"

Don nodded warily.

"There was a particular resort in Vegas that seemed to have ties to the Gulf Cartel, laundering drug money through the casino. The Bureau put it under surveillance but was never able to prove anything. There's hundreds of hours of video of the night club alone."

"The … night club."

"Yep, the stage and everything."

"And, and … my name came up on the video?"

"No, nothing so obvious," Colby assured him. _Or it would have been spread over the office long before now._

"Okay," Don said, his face shifting from worried to worried and confused.

"A particular tape is tagged, 'minor league baseball team', and I thought you might know some of the people, so I watched it."

Don's expressive face regained its look of horror. "You … watched it."

"Yeah," Colby said. "It took me a while to figure out it was you. Your hair was a lot longer then and … well, other stuff."

Don winced. "Well, uh, it wasn't me."

Colby raised his eyebrows and Don acknowledged with a wry smile and a shrug that it was a little late for that defense.

To reassure him, Colby said, "I haven't shown it to anyone else yet."

Don's smile vanished and he faced Colby squarely. "Alright, Granger, what's it going to cost me to keep this quiet?"


End file.
